After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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