1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
