are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
As shirtless as possible
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
