We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
