We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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