so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
