I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
