I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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