Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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