He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
