What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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