Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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