even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
