smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
