Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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