I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
