So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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