clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize