dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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