do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
