I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
