somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize