why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
BRING THE BAGELS
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
