Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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