Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is my gift to your gina
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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