Who wears a wallet chain?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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