Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
