I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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