So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
