I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
