my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
