New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
NoShamevember. You game?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize