i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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