Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
