you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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