Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
