Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
