they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
