What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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