i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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