The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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