she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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