The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
