doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
