those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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