He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
