"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
