So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
