dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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