The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
