we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
