You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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