let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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