Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
