I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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