if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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