Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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