is your mom at the bar?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
