youre lurking in front of me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
