She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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